


Sunsets & Sunrises

by Anonymous



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Angst and Feels, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:59:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27874214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “You’re just like the sunset, you know,” Jonghyun said instead, looking away from the view and glancing down at Minhyun.“Because I’m on my way out?” Minhyun replied with their inside joke, glancing up at Jonghyun.“No,” Jonghyun shook his head. “Because you’re otherworldly beautiful.”Recommended listening: -The One That Got Away by Katy Perry
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun/Kim Jonghyun | JR
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13
Collections: N.S.S. 2020





	Sunsets & Sunrises

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inpiniteu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inpiniteu/gifts).



> To my dear Secret Santa,
> 
> I know this is a little sad for a Christmas gift (it is very sad), but after listening to Katy Perry's TOTGA, I can't help but do this.  
> I hope you'll still like it.  
> Wishing you a splendid Christmas and new year. Cheers~ <3
> 
> xoxo,  
> your not-so-good-secret-santa

“I’m sorry I ruined sunsets for you,” Jonghyun murmured, placing a soft kiss on top of Minhyun’s head. In his arms, he heard Minhyun softly snicker, eyes never straying away from the view before them.

“You can never ruin sunsets for me, Jonghyun. No matter what happens, it will always stay the same,” Minhyun whispered with a bitter smile. “Unchanging and otherworldly beautiful.” 

Jonghyun nodded and bit his lip; stopping it from trembling as pain crushed his chest. He felt tears start to well in his eyes. He had been secretly distraught the entire week that he had returned to Busan. Despite how hard he tried to be strong - to hide everything that he felt when he was with Minhyun, he knew that it was impossible.

_A lost cause._

Words that his father would often say to him. 

It hurt to admit that his father was right. Jonghyun wished that those words were aimed at him and that it was _he_ who was fighting a losing battle instead of Minhyun. 

Instead of Minhyun, it should have been him who was suffering. He was the one who should have been battling with that pain. 

After all, it was he who deserved it. 

All throughout his life he was a selfish bastard. One who was blinded with what was happening closest to him. As long as it didn’t affect his life, everything below his eye level was insignificant. He was never one to worry about complicated things. 

For him; everything was black and white. 

A yes or a no. 

To stay or to leave. 

To fight or to give up.

Hilariously, that mindset ruined everything that he had. His close-minded and selfish attitude ruined the only thing that ever actually mattered in his life. 

“You’re blaming yourself again, aren’t you?” Minhyun asked, pulling himself from Jonghyun’s embrace to stare at him. 

“Of course not,” Jonghyun lied. It was a futile move. Minhyun knew him like the back of his hand and it was obvious with the way he stared at him knowingly with a sad expression as if he could read his thoughts. 

Like the past week, Jonghyun looked away from him and instead, held him tighter in his embrace. His heart wrenched at the way Minhyun felt too light, and how the once masculine man felt skin and bones in his arms. 

“Stop blaming yourself, Jju,” Minhyun began, staring ahead again. “It’s not your fault, you didn’t know. Hell - I didn’t even know.”

 _Yet, I should have._ Jonghyun internally screamed as regrets, fear, and anguish hit him like a ten-ton truck. 

Almost all his life, he knew Minhyun. He knew how he was on a regular and not regular basis, and just like how Minhyun knew him like the back of his hand, it was the same for him.

Yet he ignored all those signs.

He ignored everything and chose to give up.

“You’re just like the sunset, you know,” Jonghyun said instead, looking away from the view and glancing down at Minhyun. 

“Because I’m on my way out?” Minhyun replied with their inside joke, glancing up at Jonghyun. 

“No,” Jonghyun shook his head, this time not bothering to hide the way his voice shook. “Because you’re otherworldly beautiful.” 

Minhyun smiled at him, his thumb wiping the tears away from his cheek. “I could say the same for you, but instead of the sunset, you remind me so much of the sunrise.”

“Because I’m stubborn and unstoppable?” Jonghyun croaked. 

Minhyun softly chuckled and nodded. “That and because you never fail to light my life.”

Jonghyun wanted to say that _that_ wasn’t true and it was the other way around. But before he could mutter any word, Minhyun shook his head. 

“You’ve always been the light in my life, Jonghyun. Back when we’re still lonely teenagers who got stuck in a fucking summer camp because our parents don’t have the time to deal with us, 'til we become adults.” Minhyun paused and stared at him with the most beautiful and brightest smile - one that Jonghyun always loved to see. “You’ve always shine, bringing hope to those people closest to you even when you think so otherwise. You weren’t selfish, loyal through and through, and though you’re stubborn and a pain in the ass at times, you were always there, just like how the sun rises everyday.”

“Yet, I left you,” he muttered, bitterly, not realizing that he had said it outloud. 

Minhyun took a deep breath and squeezed Jonghyun's hand. “You did, but if I were in your place that time, I’ll probably do the same.”

“I don’t think so,” he whispered so low, that he wasn’t sure if Minhyun heard it. “You’re not one to leave someone, Minhyun. Even if that someone pushes you away.”

It was true. And that was one of the things that he admired about Minhyun. How he wasn’t one to give up. How he would always steadily continue and help someone, never giving up on that person even if all he’ll receive in return were scars. 

“Maybe, maybe not,” Minhyun quipped with his signature knowing smile. If only Minhyun were more than skin and bones about to break at any moment - Jonghyun would probably bite back with a retort that he knew would earn him a smack in the head. 

Unfortunately, Minhyun was skin and bones, and would break any moment. Jonghyun kept quiet and just relished in the time that they had. _Time_ that was becoming shorter with each passing minute. 

“I don’t blame you, you know,” Minhyun said after a while. “If my fiancé suddenly acted like a different person with random mood swings and who would bite my head off the entire trip - which had been planned for months, I would think twice and would call off the wedding, too.”

Jonghyun tightened his embrace on Minhyun. “Stop lying, we both know you wouldn’t call off our wedding if that happened.”

“Most probably, yes, I won’t,” Minhyun chuckled, before glancing up at him again. “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t think twice if I was making the right decision or not.” He paused and squeezed Jonghyun’s hand before smiling at him. “What I’m trying to say is that it’s okay, Jonghyun. I understand, and I don’t blame you.”

“Why is this so easy for you?” He whispered, looking away from Minhyun. “I hurt you, broke all the promises, the dreams, and all those plans that we spent half of our lives planning all because I thought that you weren’t the person who I fell in love with. During all those times, you were _sick._ ”

“Because in the end, even with everything that happened, I know that what we had was _love_.” Minhyun answered, caressing his cheek. “And that was enough for me.”

“I should have been here with you instead,” he whispered back, leaning into Minhyun’s hand as he felt tears start trailing down his cheeks again. 

“You’re here now,” Minhyun answered, pulling him down and leaning back into him. “That’s enough.”

Jonghyun closed his eyes and bit back all the emotions that were raging in him. He wanted to scream so much - scream all of his bottled up regrets, his stupidity, and selfishness that was eating him up. He knew that it wasn’t that time, then. Instead, he just settled for the quietness. Relished in the last moments that they had before the sun set and took everything away from him. 

Jonghyun didn’t know how much time passed by when he felt Minhyun let go of his hand. 

“I’m sorry if I ruined sunsets for you, Jonghyun-ah.” Minhyun said, voice slow and soft as he closed his eyes.

Jonghyun bit his lip tightly and shook his head as he tightened his hold on Minhyun. He could feel himself shaking as his throat thickened with sobs while Minhyun remained unmoving in his arms. 

“You’ve never ruined sunsets for me, Minhyun-ah,” he choked, placing one last kiss on top of Minhyun’s head. “Not then, and not today.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to thank my beta, F, who help me so much with this story and the others as well.   
> I hope we'll have more talks over sodas in the future. <3


End file.
